I’ve always wanted to say something about this subject, yet there was always something that came up that seemed to be more important. But this past weekend was the last straw.
I’m talking about when you try to get a telephone number from the information operator. Did I say ‘information operator’? I meant to say information computer. Believe or not, there was a time when there were such things as real live information operators.
These days you have to deal with annoying computers that invariably get it wrong and you have to repeat the process sometimes a half dozen times or more and when the information computer finally gets you the number it is either still the wrong number or when they connect you it turns out to be another wrong number or you get a hang-up. And the charge is a minimum of $2.00 per number. And if you want credit for the wrong number that the computer gave you, then you have to go through the process of calling back to get a real live operator to state your problem to and then maybe they’ll give you the credit for their screw up. And think of all the time you had to waste on something so simple as getting a telephone number.
So what is my gripe? It started when I dialed 411 and asked for a number whereupon the information computer asked me in what city and state am I looking for a number. I said “Los Angeles, California”. It was a simple request and I don’t speak with a heavy or foreign accent. Next it asked me for the name of the party or the name of the business I am trying to reach, whereupon I said “Tesla Motors”. I made it a point to speak intelligibly and clearly. I was then given a choice of three numbers with the instruction to say the number that most closely represents the business that I am trying to call. Well, none of those names were anything remotely like “Tesla Motors in Los Angeles, California”. The three names might as well have been from three different planets, not including Earth.
By now I am starting to fume and I am ready to smash the phone on the floor but I decide to hang up instead. I try to calm down before I repeat the process but this time I say to myself that I am going to fool the computer and ask for an operator. The one way conversation starts off cordially enough but the information computer is still insisting that I tell it the name of the city and state. At this point I simply say in a loud voice, ‘operator, agent, live person’ but the information computer is very insistent and so I continue to repeat my request for an ‘operator, agent or live person’ in a louder voice, all to no avail. By now I am really beginning to lose my patience. I know that I am only talking to an inanimate object without a brain, unless you can call some basic computer instructions a brain. The information computer is still rambling in its request for the names of the city and state while babbling off names of companies that I never heard of. Now I start to really lose it and forget that I’m talking to a machine and I start calling the information computer a fucking idiot.
Then I start thinking, what if this conversation is recorded for ‘quality control’? Then what? Will the phone company or the NSA arrest me? Why would they arrest me? It’s a fucking computer, right? So I decide to try once more but this time I’ll be nice, even though the information computer is still a fucking idiot (or the ones who designed them).
This time I get to the ‘operator, agent or live person’ and she actually says to me, “You’re trying to reach Tesla Motors in Los Angeles, California?” Now I am truly puzzled because it appears that they knew all along who I was trying to reach. And so I answered in the affirmative and before I knew what was happening I was being connected, or so she said. But as fate would have it, the number that I thought I was being connected to was in fact a wrong number. At this point I said to myself, “fuck it”, and then looked it up myself on my iPad.
So what is the solution to this extremely annoying practice that is not only costing people money but more importantly, their time? The first is to appoint a congressional committee to investigate the matter (as though we don’t have enough congressional committees) and then pass a law that will fine all of these telephone companies that use this feature, up the wazoo, until they fix the problem. The second solution is to ban the use of computers for providing information and go back to real live information operators.
Let me know what you think.
Welcome to the new universe! I’ve nearly thrown the phone down as well with this frustrating scenario of trying to get information
and being told “I’m sorry but I didn’t understand you.” Stan actually just keeps repeating “Agent” and eventually one does get on
the phone. You’re also so right about having the computer give a series of numbers to push for help and the one you want is
never on that number round. A friend of mine told me that the plan is to eliminate people altogether and just have machines do
all that work because these companies don’t give a flying fig about older people. They figure that all the young people are
computer and iPhone savvy that they would know what to do when dealing with that throaty machine voice. This is the New
Age.
I get a weekly magazine subscription, which, if not gotten on time, is dated. For the past months I have been getting issues late
or not at all and the situation has not been rectified. When I call and do get a human (who might as well be a machine), I am
told — get this — that the postal service is no longer responsible for the magazine shipments and there’s nothing they can do
about it once the shipment leaves the publishers. Their attitude is to extend my subscription for magazines I either don’t get or
get too late or to cancel. It’s like talking to a brick wall even if I request a supervisor. In other words, they DON’T CARE!!!
That, I’m afraid, is the mentality of everything that is going on in the world today. By the way, MACHINES BREAK DOWN!!!!
I told Marilyn, by the way, that at JCPenney’s at Fox Hills Mall in Culver City, they’ve installed quite a lot of Tesla electric pumps
(or whatever they’re called) in the parking lot to charge up the cars. See, if you buy a Tesla, you can charge it and then you can charge it!!!
It is a question of privacy and deregulation. The telephone companies save dollars by not having humans answer the phones. They save money by no longer printing telephone directories. Having LED readouts on the phones promotes not answering the phones.
yes, I feel your pain, having experienced it. .and the nerve of them charging for such poor service, so we can use, and pay for their service. I get a real human by repeatedly hitting the “O” button. Still, often I don’t receive the right number anyway. I also really dislike self-serve checkout, such as at Home Depot, and will never use them. Then there’s the almost non existent service from the airlines, most online retail sites, govt agencies at all levels, and the worst (nongovt-private) agency known as the irs. I’m told these a holes won’t even back the information they provide on the phone after making you wait for sometimes an hour or more. Ironic: fewer jobs, yet poorer service all the time. oh, and don’t get me started on my isp!